Obama's REAL Speech to the Nation's School Children, 9/2009

It has taken us, superpatriotic members of project Dragonslayer, weeks to decipher the highly complex and technologically astounding, secret, coded, embedded message that Barack Obama foisted on the nation's school children in September of 2009. We had a breakthrough when we were able to tap into a person's thoughtstream that we had already discovered to be a carrier of a micro transmitter implant used to broadcast back and forth subliminal messages, communist values and data pertaining to Obama's plan to destroy America and freedom.

The message we deciphered was mindblowing even to those of us who knew what we were dealing with. Without further ado, here is the un edited, unvarnished secret, embedded, coded message that the schoolchildren really received that day whether they know it or not.

Barack Obama:

Good morning children. It is said that people really want to be led. Know that I AM your leader, Barack Obama. Also know that I, Barack Obama, am building an army- an army of angry children like yourselves- with no uniforms and no dress code! Together we can- we shall, rule not only the world- but the entire known multiverse. This can only happen of course if you stay in school, receive your training and make good decisions. If you make good decisions, we will not have to liquidate you like we will your parents and grandparents, aunts and uncles as we have planned to do with our new program in the works under the guise of affordable healthcare for all. Once this plan is underway, there will be no need for schools as you know them now. Instead you will be educated in camps not unlike the ones you enjoy in the summertime months now. In these camps you will be taught everything you need to know about deconstructing the old system, under which you are slaves and second class citizens and building a brave, new world of never ending youth and freedom. There will be no more homework, no bossy teachers or overbearing parents. There will be no more chores, no doing of dishes, cutting of lawns, making of beds, cleaning of rooms or cleaning out of garages. You will be able to listen to all the rap music of Lil' Wayne that you want- and MORE!

No longer will you have to do boring, pointless busy work and mind your manners for pittance allowances! Instead you will be given real jobs with real, substantial wages in our socialist video game and candy factories. You will be allowed to eat all the nachos, french fries, pizza, ice cream and sweets that you desire. You will each be given your own I- pods, cell phones and laptops with which to communicate with one another and receive your instructions. Children, if you enjoy the first person shooter genre of video games- you'll love the not too distant future. There will be no more cars to drive- but if you play it right and demonstrate proficiency you'll have plenty of other combat ready vehicles to choose from with features and weaponry that you've only seen in movies, video games or dreams before now.

The future is yours children. All you have to do is accept it. Those of you that do not wish to be a part of this most important social revolution of all times will not be forced. You may join your parents and the rest of your older family members either in their own special camps or in the factories the stronger specimens will be working in and manufacturing the tools the revolution needs to build this bold new world I envision. Think about it children. Think and choose wisely.

Now, your teachers will be serving you free kool-aid and some cookies. Eat and drink to your hearts desire. I, Barack Obama, toast you to the future- your future.